View Single Post
  #1  
Old 03-19-2012, 02:57 PM
assiac assiac is offline
Truffle Shuffler
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 4
Default Diary of a Demon

The Cowboy

Dear Diary,
Today I was in the tavern when I noticed a sad looking man. I tried to avoid him, because in the past he has asked me to do all manner of silly things and I somehow cannot resist him. Once again I found myself sympathizing with his plight, or failing that, lusting after his gold which he passes out rather liberally in exchange for performing these degrading jobs.

“Welcome! Welcome! I have a great quest that is waiting just for you! Look, what a pretty cow! You have to carry it because can’t walk. Take it to the Busted Lands. And no time for coffee breaks! Got it?”

I arose from the table with a heavy heart. Actually, pretty much everything felt heavy, this cow was not light. The prospect of facing the busted lands with a cow on my back and no coffee was a dismal one, yet I was undaunted; a hero’s life is rarely easy.

Pink lightning crashed around me… why it was pink or why it was happening when there was no storm, I do not claim to know. I just know that it is always so when on the route to the Busted Lands. The cow got heavier and heavier, and while my taskmaster felt it was pretty, I failed to appreciate the beast’s charms.

As a demon I sometimes take pleasure in perverting requests. This job was becoming a prime candidate for a little demonic shenanigans, but what to do? I could not pass instantly to the busted lands nor could I find someone to take the cow there and because it was lame it could not be directed there itself.

And then it hit me, that is, an idea came to me as a lightning bolt started a fire in some brush nearby. I slaughtered that silly cow and made it into steaks which I cooked over the lucky fire-- 'Well done' of course, for that is how Hellish cuisine is ordinarily prepared. I sprinkled it liberally with the hotsauce I always carry and ate one delicious steak after another all the way to the Busted Lands. When I got there I met up with a monster which was all too happy to help me finish what was left before our summary duel. I left the bovine skull as proof that I had carried out the deed and returned for my reward. Mission accomplished!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to assiac For This Useful Post:
bobo baggins (03-19-2012), DeadMeat (03-19-2012), dhonzkie (04-09-2012)