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Old 07-25-2011, 11:20 PM
Killahgorilla Killahgorilla is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 14
Default Beador the Gnome and The Goblins

Once upon a time in a magical forest there lived a village of elves and pretty things. In this village every one was happy as they passed day after day, frolicking in the field and listening to grappy elf tell stories.

This would be an ideal story to tell.. Unfortunately I hate these kinds of strories, so let me tell you the tale of Beador the Gnome.

Beador the gnome was an inventor. He used his gnome magics along with his knowledge of forging and crafting to make amazing equipment fit for kings and little girls alike. He was known far and wide for making things from huge armor plate to tiny comfortable socks, all imbued with magic and ore.

One day, Beador was called upon by the great human king, Edward. Things were looking good for the little gnome inventor. He thought as much, as he walked the long white road to the kings palace.

He walked and he walked and he walked and he walked and he walked and he walked and he walked, and then he stopped for a drink by a stream. After his drink, he walked and he walked and he walked and he walked.

After hours of walking he stopped to examine a sign on the edge of a forest. The sign read "Orc's forest" and beneath that "Do not enter non-orcs or be eaten" and beneath that "To rent a room in the orc hotel please send an owl with five mushrooms into the forest for reservations". Beador was confused. This was the fastest way to the King but, he did not want to get eaten and he definitely did not want to make reservations at unreasonable prices, and besides, he only had 4 mushrooms left after he had drunk in a tavern along the road.

So Beador, being the genius inventor that he was, came up with a plan. You might find it quite simple, but at the time it seemed very logical to our hero. His genius plan was to run as fast he could through the forest. And so he did.

After 10 minutes of running as fast as his little legs would take him, he got tired and decided he needed a new genius idea. So, he sat down on a log and brain-stormed. Little did he know that he was being watched by Orcs.

Orc's in the orc forest? who would have guessed. Needless to say Beador was captured and brought to the Orc camp.

"Where are you taking me?" asked beador to the Orc chief Magnar, leading the party.

"Magnar take you to prison cells" Said the big orc. Magnar was by far the biggest of all the orcs and he seemed a giant to Beador, then again everyone seemed a giant to a gnome.

After passing through the camp palisade Magnar pointed to an amazingly big building made of stone and marble. Why, this building even looked like a palace, with gold trimmings and huge windows. "Welcome to the orc prison".

"THIS IS THE PRISON?" Beador asked in awe

Magnar laughed, "Stupid little gnome, that's the hotel. This is the Prison" Magnar said shoving Beador into a a pigsty behind the Hotel. Beador was dumbfounded and he suddenly wished that he had sent an owl with five mushrooms to the hotel.

After a few days in the Orc Prison with no one for company excepts a few surprisingly cuddly and friendly boars. Magnar came to Beador and explained how he knew that Beador was a famous inventor and that he wanted Beador to invent him and his tribe potions and equipment for ALL eternity *Dun Dun Dun*

So Beador was moved to the orc Lab which wasn't so bad except that the lab was also a bathroom for the orcs, as such, the smell was unbearable and Beador passed a couple of times out because of it. Beador decided that he had no choice but to make potions and equipment for the orcs if he wanted to survive. So he got to it. The first thing he made was an anti-smell potion. Magnar didn't like it so much but it helped Beador extremely.

The next potion Beador made was something he liked to call Apple sauce. Magnar loved it but he wanted weapons and armor or perhaps battle potion.

Beador was determined not to help the orcs get stronger but he had to get away from this camp as the king was waiting for him and he was running out of his anti-smell potion.

So Beador came up with a not so genius idea. He would a make a potion that would blow the orcs minds... Not literally of course. This tale is PG 13 after all.

After a night of brewing his potion he gave a whole cauldron of it to Magnar, and told him to let every orc in the village have a sip for it would change them in ways he could never imagine possible. Shaking with excitement Magnar ordered every orc in the village to drink from the cauldron and after everyone had drunk something strange happened. All the orcs started to shrink.

Some so small that they became the size of Beador himself. Magnar was furious and turned back to Beador, but... our hero had escaped while everyone was distracted and shrinking. Magnar let out a roar which because of his small size was actually a squeek.

And so it was that the world was introduced to a new creature called Goblins.

Last edited by Killahgorilla; 08-02-2011 at 12:57 AM.
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