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Old 03-20-2012, 08:03 AM
assiac assiac is offline
Truffle Shuffler
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 4

Dear Diary,

The blonde tourist looked like an easy mark. I stood nearby and watched him fumble with his maps and guidebooks. He clearly had too much gold on his hands and was looking for a little action. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

“If you have nothing better to do, listen to this. See this empty chest of gold? Carry it to Magmaron. Shouldn’t be a problem for a hotshot like yourself. And while you’re at it, get me some cookies!”

My eyes narrowed as I surveyed the item. An empty chest of gold? In what sense could an empty chest be ‘of gold’. But the man was in no mood for my questions… he was nattering on about cookies now. I picked up the chest and got out of there before he asked me to shine his shoes in the bargain.

Now about Magmaron, you either love it or you hate it. The temperature is above the boiling point of water and there’s a great deal of liquid rock welling out of the ground – hence magma-ron. Me, I love it, and it’s the perfect place to dispose of goods that you’d rather not be found in possession of. I’m guessing the chest was taken in a crime, and that the gold had been otherwise disposed of now. At any rate, that was none of my concern, I’m just the bagman in this little caper.

The journey was uneventful and I spent rather longer than necessary finding a good spot to dispose of the chest. Night had fallen and I watched the box burn in the flowing lava, a relaxing pastime really, until I realized that the hinges and corner pieces were shiny now and not disintegrating, they were made of gold!! They were so covered with dirt that I hadn’t realized it before, I reached in to try and grab them and that’s when it attacked.

It was a Horror of the night with his sword raised high. I managed to fend off his first blow with minor damage, but moving in the lava was like moving in mud. He had me at a disadvantage. The battle was not going well as we exchanged blows so I backed up into the center of the pool and tread lava.

He hesitated at the edge and dared me to come at him, his eyes glowing with malice. I’m a warrior, not a scout, so I’m not proud of what I did next. I hurled a hunk of lava at him and splattered him good. He didn’t like it or so I assumed from the ear splitting screech. I formed a theory then that horrors of the night are not immune to heat as demons are. We battled then me tossing lava and him throwing rocks and trying to reach me from the edge of the pool. It was a battle he couldn’t win. Soon he slunk off to go horrify someone else’s night.

I had lost all but one hinge of the golden box to the lava and it wasn’t worth looking for now. I got a nice skin treatment though, even humans like the feel of pumice though of course they don’t care for it fresh.

I bought a sack of cookies on the way back: chocolate chip - i hope the tourist's teeth rot from 'em. Either way i got my reward and he threw in a mushroom for my discretion concerning the matter. But you won't tell, will you dear diary?

Last edited by assiac; 03-20-2012 at 08:05 AM.
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to assiac For This Useful Post:
bobo baggins (03-20-2012), DeadMeat (03-20-2012), dhonzkie (04-09-2012), iTZKooPA (03-20-2012)