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Old 05-25-2012, 10:03 AM
iTZKooPA iTZKooPA is offline
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Post Shakes(peare) & Fidget: To Shroom or not to shroom (Contest)

If games be the food of love, play on. And if you’re a winner of North America’s latest Shakes & Fidget contest, you could be playing Shakes & Fidget - The Game for a lot less. The Shakespeare-inspired contest will offer the largest rewards ever to its winners. A total package of 1000 mushrooms are up for grabs!

Contest Details:
  • Each player can submit one (1) entry to the contest.
  • Entries must be submitted by email to [email protected] with the subject of Shakes(peare) & Fidget Contest. Include your character name and server that you want the mushrooms delivered to, should you win.
  • Submissions should be between 250 and 750 words.
  • Entries are accepted as of this posting and must be submitted by June 15, 2012 at 11:59 PM (EST). Be sure to proofread and polish your submission before sending the email, as only the first entry will be accepted.
Winning entries will earn themselves a spotlight on the forum and Facebook for the whole community to see.

Where to view submissions
Entries will be collected and posted to a locked forum thread on the North American forum. A second thread will be made available for commenting. This post will be updated with the relevant links.

Playa Games maintains the right to ignore or remove submissions that do not follow the Terms of Service of the game or forum.

$$ Prizes $$
A group of forum moderators and community managers will thin the submission to a maximum of ten (10) entries. From that collection, the community will vote for their favorite entry. The top three winners will receive the following awards:
  • 3rd Place - 150
  • 2nd Place - 300
  • 1st Place - 500
One voter will be randomly selected from the pool and awarded 50 for participating in the polling.

Prizes will only be distributed to accounts on the US or Canadian servers.

Some hints:
  • You do not need to rewrite an existing work. Feel free to write in Shakespearian style but with your own fresh ideas.
  • Longer does not mean better.
  • Sticking with S&F humor will go a long way.
  • Here’s a great Shakespeare quote repository in case you need a refresher.

Example by North American Volunteer Moderator DeadMeat:
Fidget and Shakes went on a camping trip.
After partaking vital sustenance and a good measure of wine, with the sky, it seemed, pouring down stinking pitch, they retire seeking deep blessed sleep.
Some hours later, Fidget awoke and nudged his dearest partner in greatness. "Shakes, look up at the newly bent celestial bed and tell me what ye eyes drinkth in."

Shakes replied, "I see stars numerous beyond counting."

"Mayhaps you can inform me what their appearance portends?" Fidget asked.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, Methinks that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, It creeps in mine eyes that Saturn traverses into Leo. Horologically, I surmise that the hour is 3 turns passed high moon. Theologically, I can see that God up above is powerful beyond measure and that we are but specks on the wind. Meteorologically, I suspect thou shall experience a nipping and an eager air on the morrow. What thoughts do you make of this?"

Fidget was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Shakes, Thou puking swag-bellied scullian!
Thou spongy malmsey-nosed wagtail!
Thou warped beetle-headed vassal!
Thou paunchy unchin-snouted pignut!
Thou hath not so much brain as ear wax.

Somebody has robbed thy tent!"

*Rules subject to change*
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Old 05-25-2012, 11:14 AM
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Accepted submissions will be placed in the below threads.

Please direct any questions on the contest or comments on the submissions here.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:09 AM
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How are your submissions coming?
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Old 06-15-2012, 08:25 AM
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Today is the final day to get in the Shakes(peare) & Fidget entries. Submissions will be reviewed, narrowed down and added to the thread early next week.
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:08 PM
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The submissions have been thinned down to a handful of entries. The community will be allowed to vote on their favorite, with the most votes receiving the First Prize. Players are encouraged to discuss the submissions on the official discussion thread.

Submissions are listed in no particular order. The names of the entrants have not been included to keep votes based upon the merit of the entry.

Thanks to all that helped make this contest happen, especially all the entrants and DeadMeat for his example submission.
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:11 PM
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Post Submission #1

Shakes dreamt happily…
Full many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy;
Anon permit the basest clouds to ride…
And yet…this cloud…something was rotten in the state of Denmark…

Awoken with a start and gasping for air, Shakes declared soundly “Fidget, thine Eggs of Kadosh seemed to be most foul!”

“Aye, and my stomach is upset most terribly…I must find that farmer and beat him” Fidget responded while scrambling for new undergarments; the “briefs of doubtful hygiene” were likely soiled.

Holding his nose, Shakes proselytized “A plague...a plague on both of your houses! Blow, blow thou winter wind!”

“I do declare we need to find that chicken and abscond with him!” suggested Fidget.

“We could do that, or even get rid of the hen...but mayhaps we ought to simply be rid of the rooster that is causing the problem to begin with…p’raps a little cut where the issue began?!” replied Shakes mischievously.

Fidget’s mind worked quickly and he hastily crossed his legs together. “Aye, the most unkindest cut of all…”

Later that morning Shakes and Fidget rode their horses to the scene of the crime; Farmer Ferdinand’s humble farm.
“Welcome good Shakes and Master Fidget” smiled Ferdinand from the roost.
But upon seeing Fidget looking green with an odorous cloud trailing behind him, “What, has this thing appear’d again to-day?!”

Looking upon his unhappy cohort, Shakes grimaced “I have seen nothing, but smelled everything”.

“Your eggs were most foul, Farmer, as if the Lord of Darkness himself sent them to me!” cried Fidget.

“Twice thy chickens have produced profane ovum!” cried Shakes.

Fidget unsnapped the holster and readied his Astral Staff of the Know-It-All for a spell. “I will fight you…fight until the last gasp!” cried Fidget.

However, unbeknownst to both our young heroes, Farmer Ferdinand had quietly turned on his Chicken Master 3000 and adjusted the setting to “Majorly Clucked”.

Seeing the certain outcome of his brethren reduced to a cloud of feathers and dust, Shakes stepped forward and quickly uttered “Parting is such sweet sorrow”…and hoisted Fidget upon his mount.

With daggers, nay foul eggs still in mind, Fidget could only muster “My words fly up, my thoughts remain below!” and with that, both Shakes and Fidget galloped off toward the town to grab a mug of mead.

Hoisting a frosty mug, Fidget mused as he pointed to his upset stomach “Oft expectation fails, and most oft there”.

A buxom bar wench strolled by and caught Fidget’s lingering eye.

“Asses are made to bear and so are you…” slobbered Fidget to Viola the wench.

She rebuffed his drunken advanced by paraphrasing the little lad himself and pointing between his legs “Oft expectation fails, my dear Fidget, and most oft there”.

Drunk and rejected, Fidget returned to his table and his nearly passed out cohort.

“Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance” bemused Shakes before his head hit the table, upsetting his sixth mug of ale.

“Nay, then, thus: We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another” replied Fidget...and thus, his head too fell to the table.

The End
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:13 PM
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Post Submission #2

“Hark Fidget, lend me thy ears.” Light through yonder trees spoke of an eerie guest of the night.

A spread fist cut off any further word. “Nay cousin Shakes, I have but two, and I need both.”

“Surely, cousin, thou can be short an ear or two. I see a-”

“I bite my thumb at thee sir, I do believe thou made a jest at me. Short indeed, fie!”

“Cousin, if thou would simply look betwixt the trees over yonder. An otherworldly glow dost appear to be flitting through the forest.”

The mage, as tall as his temper, complied with the warrior’s request. Indeed, a glow passed along the forest walls. The light stood as a man would; walking up and down as if a sour mood had yet to pass. “What dost thou think it is?”

“I have not an idea. Alas, I shall find out.” Shakes walked to the clearing that led straight into the forest, and Fidget followed as his shadow. “Stand, ho! Who goes thither?” Shakes challenged aimlessly, and was rewarded with silence.

“I do believe,” Fidget began, “our friend likes not the attention we give it.”

“Come stranger, anon!” Shakes continued, “Dark creatures stir at night good sir. If thou refuse to step hither thou prove yourself a creature of the Horde and I shall be forced to draw swords with thee.”

“Thou would want to draw,” Fidget sniggered, eliciting a glance of disapproval. “Wait ho!”

Shock and awe filled Fidgets voice, to match the similar look gracing Shakes’ face. “Where hast it gone?”

“I must confess I did not see it go. Surely ‘tis still in the wood?”

“A great injustice has been done here!” A voice came from behind, sounding of a wind rustling through dead leaves.

“Thou turn around first!” Fidget whispered.

“Nay, thou turn around first, else I see thee for the coward thou are.”Shakes chattered through shivering teeth.

“It matters not,” Fidget replied in hopes of tricking himself, “there is nothing to see. I heard nothing but the sigh of God’s breath.”

“FOOLS!” The voice boomed, and it appeared in front of them. It glowed a brilliant ethereal glow. “Lend me thy ears. A tale I have to share of a wicked assassin king.”

Fidget laughed then, clasping his still gaping friend on the shoulder. “’Tis just a ghost, cousin.” He continued to laugh, despite the not amused expressions from both Shakes and the ghost. “And here I was thinking we encountered a Spectral Wyvern.”

“Thou jest tiny mage,” joked the ghost, “A Spectral mount of that sort would not appear for thou so easily, but I digress-”

“What hast thy accent gone to ghost?” Fidget asked warily.

The ghost cleared his throat, ignoring the jibe, and continuing in the previous tone. “Thy king is neither clean of hand, nor of mind. Sins hath been committed upon my person, and my blood lies at the king’s feet.”

“I thought thou looked familiar,” Shakes realized. “Fidget, doesn’t he look like the previous king?”

Fidget considered momentarily, “Thou art right Shakes, he dost. So ghost, thou say the king slew thee like some common shrew?”

“I dare say I hast not spoken those words per se-”

“Nay ghost king, thou dare not indeed.” Fidget cut in.

“What do thou mean good mage? Art thou to imply-”

“An imp am I? Good day to thou sirrah, thy body likely lies in the ground, resting with the worms. Seems to me it won’t be an easy find, so thou might as well get resurrected and simply endure the ten minutes of shame.”

“Come Fidget, the dead man seems to need our help. Art thou so against helping the helpless? His assassin-”

“Actually, yes, I am.” Fidget cut in, and continued, “Let us hence.”

The ghost floated back into the line of trees, grumbling mostly unintelligibly of ‘disrespectful louts’ and ‘bewaring the ides of March’.

“What’s dost take place on the ides of March?” Shakes asked.

“It dost beat me. Perhaps there is server maintenance.” Fidget answered ere stopping dead in his tracks. “Wait hither cousin, what is that shiny speck protruding amidst the grasses?” Fidget asked. Shakes grabbed, and plucked forth from the ground a beautiful length of silver and gold. “Is this a dagger I see before me?” Fidget inquired.

“’Tis, alas, its damage is lower than what I have now. It might have helped the ghost though.”

“Fie!” Fidget exclaimed. “Anon, we must hence to The Guild before they spelunk without us.”
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:20 PM
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Default Submission #3 - Meeting "The Doctor"

My friends call me Shakes and five years ago I was a normal mercenary. That was before I met “The Doctor” who changed my life forever. He had some nerve! He just up and took me and me mate, Fidget, while we were on our way to defeat a pack of Hell Beasts. He nicked us from where we stood and declared that we were his “assistants”. What the dickens?! You can’t just take a bloke straight off the road on his way to a job! This is the story of our first adventure with “The Doctor”, a king of infinite space and the whirligig of time.

“Hey, Fidget…”

“What is it?”

“Do you really think our employer told the truth about the Hell Beasts being pups?”

“He better had or I’m charging double,” answered Fidget bitterly.

“He had better been telling the truth or we’ll both be dead,” I said, laughing.

Then we heard a strange noise and a large blue box reading “Police Call Box”
appeared on the road side. A man with a strange metal stick stepped out and asked us for assistance. We started messing with him about his clothes and he pointed that metal stick at me shield, and it crumpled into a tiny steel ball.

He introduced himself stating, “I’m The Doctor.”

“Really, I thought you where a weirdo,” I said.

“This is The TARDIS. The police box is just a disguise,” responded the strange man.

“You really like using ‘The’ don’t you?” I asked.

Strange man blew me off.

“I need your assistance,” He declared.

“Yeah, well you’re going to have to wait. We already have work at this time,” replied

The next thing we know we’re in the box, which was much bigger than we thought. It was huge on the inside, bigger than the local mead hall me and Fidget frequent.

Hours later we were where the heavens should’ve been. Fidget had given up hope of

seeing the earth again, but I told him “That way madness lies.”

All of a sudden the blue box shook violently. Strange Man said we were caught in a tractor beam, whatever that was, and were being pulled into a hostile ship. This new ship sent “The TARDIS”, which to me will always be “Blue Box”, a message. A voice said we were Quagarrian property and being brought aboard to be slaves.

When the freaky disembodied voice finished a horrible green gas filled “Blue Box” and me, The Doctor, and Fidget blacked out. After what seemed like hours me and Fidget woke up, but The Doctor was still knocked out. He had the stupidest grin on his face, too. Ah, to sleep, perchance to dream.

We woke up in a small metal room with no idea what we’d done to deserve this.

“How can Strange Man sleep at a time like this!”

“I don’t know,” groused Fidget. “Strange Man had better have a plan to get us out of here!”

“He’d better or… we’ll miss the dead line for that hell beast job!”

“How can you think about that when we’re in this situation?”

“I don’t know! What I do know is that we need to wake him up.”

We slapped Strange Man awake, but he had no idea how to free us. You wouldn’t believe how steamed Fidget was when he heard that. He tried beating The Doctor to death with his own metal stick! It was funny watching such a small person try to kill such a tall man.

The Doctor finally got us out of the room using his metal stick and we found another man wandering around so he came with us. We were walking down a hall when we heard a noise behind us.

“What was that?” whispered Fidget.

“Be quiet,” shushed The Doctor.

“I hear it, too,” I said.

“Be quiet I said!” hollered The Doctor.

Just then a tentacle snatched the man we found, and the tentacle’s owner ate him! It was all a big blur after that. There was a lot of running, jumping, yelling, and fighting. The last thing I remember was escaping.

It’s been five years and we’re still with Strange Man. We’ve seen many things that’ve scared the hell out of us, but we see things normal people only dream of. Traveling the stars with Strange Man’s has been fun and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:22 PM
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Default Submission #4

“What a piece of work is a man?” asked Fidget, sipping his mead. He looked at Shakes, befuddled at the weak-mindedness of his friend. “When he looks like a horse’s ass. And drinks like a spinster at the zenith of her ‘tea-totaling’.” He laughed sourly at his humor, finishing with, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” He laughed harder. “Wait. I have one already.”

“A rose by any other name…” began Shakes before being cut off by Fidget.

“Will still resemble the hind end of a mule come morning. Or doth thou protest, my braying companion?” Fidget called to Shakes as a donkey to a female of the species. He watched one of the servant girls saunter past. He’d been eyeing her since they’d entered the tavern. His sight fell on her not for her beauty, but for her homeliness. When they’d entered the establishment, he pointed out the boasting sign that read, “Ten beautiful serving wenches… and two ugly ones.”

“Where are the ugly ones?” replied Shakes after looking around the hall. “I see naught but beauty.”

“You’re already drunk and we’ve yet to begin.” Fidget cast a dubious eye to his mate, bemused at his lack of clear vision. “Come along, fool, er, friend. I see a table available.”

Shakes had since fallen deep into his cups and had eyed the same female, albeit with a more lustful stare.

Fidget quickly formulated a plan to sharpen his friend’s eyesight. The plan would have his friend play a bigger fool, but it would be worth it to educate Shakes in the ways of wooing a woman and not a turtle faced harridan of doubtful femininity.

“You there. Madam!” called Fidget.

“What’ll it be, lads?” responded the woman, approaching their table.

Fidget was about to say something classy, but he noticed Shakes bellowing Scotland the Brave into his empty tankard. He delivered a sharp tap to Shakes’ foot with his staff and Shakes quickly ceased his foolishness.

Fidget looked to the woman and grinned painfully. Smiling was not one of his habits and the woman’s face was punctuated with gnarled teeth with what looked like asparagus between them. Her eyes, if that’s what they were, were the color of infected snot and her eyebrows were joined in the middle. Fidget swore he saw a crow peek out of them for a moment. “Pray tell, my dear,” he said through a grimaced smile. “Do you find my friend appealing? He sincerely finds you mesmerizing.”

“You’re beautiful,” stammered Shakes. He smiled at her as well, oblivious to her appearance. “Come, let’s away to prison. We two alone will sing in the brig of love.”

“Is he for real?” The serving woman retreated a step, clutching the handle of a mug. If need be she would end both Shakes and Fidget with it. “That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man.”

The tables quickly turned on Fidget. It was his turn to be surprised. “What doth thou mean?”

“I pack a box lunch, dearie,” she answered. “Or should I get more plain with thee?”

“You’re a…” stuttered Fidget, incredulous.

“Too bad,” belched Shakes. “Quite the looker, you are.”

“My God, but it makes sense. A woman as ugly as you could only be-”

The mug the woman clutched came down on Fidget’s head. “Asses are made to bear, and so are you. I’ll not be a shrew tamed by the likes of you.” She dropped the remnants of the handle on Fidget’s head and stormed off.

Shakes stared down to his immobilized friend. “Eh, what’s this then? I thought you knew how to talk to women, Fidget.”

Without opening his eyes, Fidget replied, “Piss off, Shakes. I’m not in the mood.”
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Old 07-06-2012, 02:30 PM
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Congratulations to all those that sent in submissions and everyone that voted!

And the winners are:

Winner: #1 - Gynx
First runner-up: #4 - ScarlettWitch
Second runner-up: #2 -Rhaeddyn
Consolation: #3 - Christopher

Random vote winner: <3Less
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